Just Do the Thing

A few days back, I was traveling across the great Commonwealth of Pennsylvania en route to another military weekend and was listening to an interview with GORUCK Founder, Jason McCarthy. He kept saying this sentence throughout the two hour chat when talking about being active, seeking out new goals and essentially rejecting the sedentary lifestyle that is so rampant in our society today.

So what is “the Thing?” Well, it’s whatever you want it to be. It’s about challenging yourself, engaging with others, failing (yes, failing), finding new passions, taking on the seemingly impossible and maybe even scary challenges in life that may seem crazy to you and/or others.

This made me think of several different facets of my life and what those “Things” might be and perhaps what some may lay ahead of me in the future. I’ll categorize my thoughts below to help focus in on a few areas:

Professional Career: Every time I see an opportunity to apply for a more challenging role, even if I doubt my abilities, I apply for it. I am literally never selected but I keep trying. For my civilian job, that’s the “Thing” that I keep trying to do. In the same vein of career, I’m also looking forward to “what’s next?” after this path ends within the next two years. That is where I basically jumped off a cliff of “faith” and pursued my real estate license. I did some recon on the profession, met with a personal friend in the business and thought no more on it. I signed up for classes, took them and sat for the exam. Today, I can legit place the term “Realtor” behind my name. Now, I haven’t sold a thing, listed a single property or really done anything since December when I passed the test but I will…I hope. I want this to be the next “Thing” in my professional career path but so far, it has proven very difficult to weave it into my life. I may fail… I may never be a full up-round Realtor just smashing the market but my heart is there and I’m leaning in…albeit uncomfortably and unsure of the path ahead.

Marriage Fitness: I wasn’t sure what else to call this one so “marriage fitness” it is. What I’m eluding to is the “fitness” we do together that not only keeps us strong and healthy but draws us closer together. This November, we’ll celebrate 30 years of wedded bliss and I couldn’t be more thankful. We have rode that marriage rollercoaster up and down a few times and right now, it feels like we’re rolling strong like on the Magnum at Cedar Point as it loops out over Lake Erie in Sandusky, Ohio. The “Thing” for us has a few parts. This October as my bride turns 50, literally ON her 50th birthday, she will toe the line of her first Spartan OCR (obstacle course race) in Addington, VA. She won’t do it alone, though. Together, we will do the Spartan Super on Saturday followed by the Sprint on Sunday. Lots of mud, obstacles and hopefully a few sloppy kisses at the finish line after the fire jump. She is most definitely stepping outside of her comfort zone and just doing “the Thing.” Now jump ahead a few years to a tentative 2025, we plan to thru-hike the Appalachian Trail from Georgia to Maine, a 3 to 5 month journey. It is the longest continuous trail on the planet and we plan to do it…together. Camping, hiking, experiencing the highs and lows (most certainly not at the same time) and reaching Maine hand-in-hand. It is most certainly a daunting thought to even consider doing it but we are walking forward, planning, dreaming… Just a few weeks ago after I finished the Spartan Ultra in Vernon, NJ, we hiked 4 miles on a section of the AT. That was surreal! We couldn’t help but imagine that our feet will strike this same ground later on our journey.

Personal Growth: I have a lot of likes and lots of check-boxes in things that I’ve done. Years of marathon running and ultra-running was followed by falling head over heels into CrossFit. Somewhere in there I found rucking and I have done 12 and 24hr challenges with them…all grueling. Then some “marriage fitness” with rucking as we did a few 50 mile “Star Course” events together where we explored Columbus, OH and then New York City…and wow, NYC did not disappoint! We even did a 26.2 mile one in Nashville last Fall. This photo is from September 2019 while we rucked across the Brooklyn Bridge at sunrise during our 50 mile GORUCK Star Course.

Then last Summer I jumped into Spartan and did my first event or should I say, “events” over a weekend and then in my mind, “well if I could do the Trifecta over a weekend, I can do the Ultra.” And so I did two weeks ago. I have just done “the Thing” laid before me many times. Often, it begins with an invite to show up to something, I love it, and the rest is history. It happened when the owner of Vertical Runner invited me onto the trails and I didn’t want to get my shoes dirty. That led me into ultra-running and 32 finishes. It happened with CrossFit when the Knarr’s invited us to our first CrossFit class on 11/4/2014. It happened when someone (not sure who) invited me to a ruck. Last year, the Viller’s invited me to head to West Virginia for Spartan. Time after time again, some has extended an invite to do “a Thing” and I just leaned into it and did it. No rhyme or reason but to challenge myself. Ultimately, I want to enjoy it, too, but that’s not always the case. Case in point, I recently did a CrossFit competition a week before the Spartan Ultra and while I am glad I did it, I won’t do it again. There were just too many things I didn’t care for. As for a Spartan Ultra, I’d consider that again but I’m not some Spartan “groupie” and buying a Season Pass to do a ton of them. I have zero desire to do that and devote the time to it. So no, there is no big “Thing” that I have on my plate right now but as you can see, it’s probably just an invite away from appearing.

So what’s your “Thing?” What is looming in your mind? Where do you see a challenge, an opportunity or an invite pending? Heck, who can YOU invite to something? As I consider what lies ahead for me in all categories, one big filter it must run through is this one:

“What impact will it have on my relationship with my wife and what part will she play in it?”

Let me put some meat on the bones of that filter: Two weeks ago in Vernon, NJ, I apologized countless times to her for how she was left to her own devices to fill the time while I “played in the mountains.” Spartan provided zero tracking of the athletes so all she could do was guess when I might appear. She missed me time and time again but totally not her fault. As I was leaving the transition point about to head out on the Beast course the 2nd time around mile 18 or 19, I heard my name being screamed. I turned around while climbing up and there she was. I kid you not…I got all verklempt and could have sobbed right there on the mountain. Just seconds prior to seeing her, I asked a volunteer to text her that I was ok and heading back out. Before sending the text, the volunteer took this photo to send with it. Then I saw her. I stood there, waving, holding back the tears. I so badly wanted to see her more and celebrate the simple fact that I was DOING it…and doing well! I wouldn’t see her again until I approached the finish. I was so thankful to see her again, nearly 11 hours after starting the event at 6:30am.

So in the future, if I do another Ultra, I’ll either go alone or figure something else out for her. Yes, it may be ME doing “the Thing” but anything without her is not full…rather partially empty. I spent years running hundreds of hours and miles on the roads and trails alone. I don’t ever want that solo life back.

“Just do the thing.” This gives me pause every time I about to possibly dismiss something… perhaps I should do it…try it…get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I know this for certain: we only get one shot at life and I want to live it to its fullest WITH my bride.